More hints, tips and thoughts on Polyphasic Sleep

February 19, 2008 at 11:28 pm (February: Polyphasic Sleep)

Well I’m 19 days into the everyman schedule, and all is well. I’m still getting a lot done, and still enjoying this novel way of experiencing life. It is training me to make more use and better use of my time, because what’s the point of extra time if it’s not spent being productive?. I’m also getting so much better at getting up straight after an alarm goes off; I was previously a habitual ‘snoozer’ but such behaviour is punished on this routine, not on the core nap, but if I oversleep on a 20 minute nap I’m groggy for a couple of hours. I’ve had a few thoughts on my experiences so far, and a few tips for people who might want to try this:

  • Days = Blocks

I hear that on the hardcore uberman schedule people tend to lose track of days. I have experienced this to a degree on the everyman schedule. I find that I usually know what day it is (or I should say, I don’t lose track anymore than usual), but I lose track of what day I did things on. There is definitely a certain weirdness about time on this schedule. I don’t think of days as much as I do of ‘blocks’ between naps that last around 5 hours. It’s easier for me to know I did something 2 or 3 blocks ago than to know what day I did it on, probably because the 20 minute naps seem a lot longer than they actually are. So days are sort of less relevant, and I need to make use of a calendar much more often throughout a period of time that you might call a ‘day’. If I did something 2 blocks ago, it feels like what you would call ‘yesterday’, regardless of what ‘day’ I did it on. Also, I have to plan things so that what I do does not cross over into another block, which can be restrictive.

  • It’s not perfect (at this stage)

I previously stated that I had not experienced an ‘adaptation phase’ as such, due perhaps to occasional oversleeping allowing me to ‘catch up’. Well since then I’ve overslept only once, and that was for a mere 40 minutes (set my alarm incorrectly again, damnit!), and I can clearly see that I’m not adapted to this routine. I can function normally for the extra hours – I am still over-productive, and I do a lot of exercise too – but there’s an intuitive sense that I’m not at 100%. Maybe I’m at 80% of normal energy levels. Even if this did not change, and I came off the routine before adapting, I would easily call this an acceptable trade-off.

  • Gravity

Another weird thought I had: Would a polyphasic sleep routine tend to make a person shorter? Think about it, I’m spending an extra 4 hours a day in the upright position, with gravity pushing down upon my spine. Ubermanners spend 22 hours under such pressure, for the most part. If you’re monophasic this time is spent in a prone position, and so the gravity would not affect your height at all. I wonder if other people on polyphasic sleep routines for long periods have measured their heights, or if they might find hanging upside down a pleasant experience as the spine is stretched out?

  • Phone and text messages

I use my phone as my alarm when I nap. One perhaps obvious tip if you plan to do the same is to NOT send a few text messages before you nap! I usually can’t sleep if I have an un-replied-to text, as it’s like an open loop in my mind. You really have to deal with that if you don’t want to be woken up by your message alert tone, which in my case is Dexter’s Sgt Doakes proclaiming “That’s a good call Morgan….it’s a tough call…but that’s a good call, man”.

  • Eat more

If you’re awake extra hours, you need more food. It would be like driving your car an extra four hours each day; you need extra fuel. I think a danger here might be that people start polyphasic sleep routines, and neglect to eat more than they usually do. Then they naturally feel more tired than they normally would, and perhaps a little faint with it. Then because they are focused on the sleep pattern, they blame this on the routine, call it a bust and return to monophasic prematurely.

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February – Polyphasic Sleep

February 15, 2008 at 3:28 pm (February: Polyphasic Sleep)

I have moved, click here.

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End of Movember!

December 2, 2007 at 5:48 pm (November: Movember)

So Movember has drawn to a close. Overall, I enjoyed the experience and I will surely keep my mo’ for some time to come. I intend to use it as a prop to initiate conversations with women. I cannot see how this could possibly fail.

Here is how Max looked at the end of this month:

Max’s Mo’

And a close up:

Close up of Max’s mo’

As you can see, he did extremely well!

I need to collect sponsor forms from people before I can tell you the amount raised for Movember. At a guess we managed around £70.

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Top 5 Cartoon mo’s!

December 2, 2007 at 5:47 pm (November: Movember) (, , )

To highlight the end of Movember, I have compiled this list of top 5 cartoon mo’s. I actually got stuck trying to think of suitable candidates, so it’s not really THE top 5, but rather the…

Top 5 Cartoon Mo’s That Warren Could Think Of In The Last 20 Minutes Or So!

5.

    Mario

Mario

I played SEGA, not Nintendo, when I was younger, so by rights I should not include a loser like Mario in this list. But objectively, he’s got a damn good mo’! I don’t like Mario, or his dumbass brother Luigi. Sonic the hedgehog; now there’s a character to lead a brand with. Sonic is fast, and has a lovable arragance to him. Plus he turns into Super Sonic when he get’s pumped up, which is just plain cool. Mario, on the the other hand is a slow, out of shape, half-wit. Ostensibly, he spends all his time eating pizza and getting fat, and if Bowser doesn’t kill him, arterial plaque will. Plus the guy appears to be addicted to ‘shrooms! What kind of a role model is he for kids? Nevertheless, his mo’ will always be legendary.

4.

    Jafar

Jafar

While density and pure mass are important aspects of a good mo’, there are other ways to impress, such as pure grooming skill. Think of Salvadore Dali, for an extreme example of this. Jafar fits in this category easily. Notice how the mo’ moves down from the nose, then moves outwards. That’s a very difficult look create and even more difficult to pull off, even for an evil bad guy in a Disney film. Jafar’s ultimate downfall in his battle with Alladin was not his mo’, however: A pasty-white American-accented street rat in an Arabic city?? Who’s he trying to kid? Illegal immigrant! Clearly! Jafar should have just had him deported.

3.

    Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter is one of my favourite characters in Family Guy, because the sound of his voice alone is funny, not to mention the scything remarks he fires off with it. The message alert on my phone is Carter saying “Alright! Goooo Medium! Wish I could talk to ghosts. That’d be sweeeeeeeeeeeet!!” This is the richest mo’ on the list; Carter owns both US Steel and CNN, the latter of which he won from Ted Turner in a poker game. I know this because I looked up ‘Carter Pewterschmidt’ on Wikipedia. I’m even getting good at spelling his last name: Pewterschmidt. Pewterschmidt. Pewterschmidt. Got it!

2.

    Ned Flanders

Ned Flanders

Sometimes Ned is so cheerful and good that it makes you sick. But you can’t help but feel a deep sense of awe for the mo’ he sports. His mo’ – one that can only be a combination of superior genetics, meticulous grooming, and divine intervention – is probably the saving grace of this character. Imagine a Simpsons with a clean shaven Ned. Doesn’t work does it? Ned’s impressive mo’ must surely be the reason he landed such an attractive wife. But it also got him second place on my list, which is better.

1.

    Yosemite Sam

Yosemite Sam

I guess we all saw it coming. Have any amount of facial hair you want, and you still can’t beat Yosemite Sam. His face practically IS a mo’, with the only skin showing being that on his ears. His face-to-mo’ ratio is incredible. The greatness of his mo’ matched only by his belligerence, Sam made a worthy foe for Bugs Bunny. Although ultimately he was unable to defeat “that pesky rabbit”, there is one area in which Bugs could never compete with Sam. With a mere three whiskers on each side, Bugs’s mo’ is pathetic, whereas Yosemite Sam is unchallenged by anyone in the cartoon world, and the clear winner of this countdown!

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Here’s the long awaited pic

November 27, 2007 at 11:47 pm (November: Movember)

First pic – there are more to come. This is me and Dave, with our mo’s. My mo’ has not been groomed or trimmed at all. I SWEAR that is a full twenty-seven days of growth. Pretty poor show, don’t you think? I think I will keep it for longer than Movember, and aim for a Selleck. Dave has had to groom his for work, which is why it looks nice and trimmed.

Dave & I

Don’t forget to make a donation!

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How the mo’ won an empire

November 23, 2007 at 4:32 pm (November: Movember)

mousto3_468x331.jpg

“The British Empire was the greatest and most diverse the world has ever seen.

At its height, it was seven times the size of the Roman Empire, its Navy ruled the oceans and a quarter of the earth was painted red on the map.

Military victories, trade expansion and a talent for bureaucracy all played a part – but so did the humble moustache.”

From Daily Mail

Look at the pictures in the link above to notice an indisputable fact: The size and influence of the British Empire has reduced in accordance with the mo’ size of it’s leaders.

Now, is the shrinking mo’ a result of the reduction in imperial power…the leaders no longer feeling manly enough to sport the mo’ of the past?

Or did the shrinking mo’ CAUSE the size of the British Empire to decrease, with the lowered amount of mo’ power leaving it vulnerble???

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Billie Piper. Has a mo’???

November 17, 2007 at 6:11 pm (November: Movember)

mo’ sista?

I’ve been intesively researching the topic of moustaches lately, and I came across a piece of information that I wish I hadn’t found. If only I wasn’t so damn thorough. I’d never have discovered a disconcerting truth about the glorious angel otherwise known as Billie Piper. Here’s the quote:

“I have to work a lot at facial hair. My eyebrows are hairiest but the ‘tache is definitely a close second.

“I don’t shave, I use cream. If I’m on holiday and I let it grow so I can do twiddle the ends when I’m concentrating.

“My eyebrows are so big. On camera they look like the old man from ‘Sesame Street’.”

(From People)

Billie Piper

OK, granted, that’s a little disgusting. But does it change anything? Billie is one of those celebrities that makes you feel that she’d like you. You think ‘I could get her’. It’s that girl next door thing, kind of like Cameron Diaz. I feel this revelation only enhances that fact. But does raise the question of what you’d do if you did manage to get her. Would you go out with a girl with a moustache…even a girl as celestial as Billie Piper?

This would be a deal-breaker for me. Not because my girlfriend has a moustache, and because that would be embarrasing, but because on current form there’s the definite possibility that she’d grow a better one that I am capable of. Take a moment to imagine that if you will. Your girlfriend looks like Freddy Mercury, and you merely look like you have a third eyebrow above your lips, and a very thin and fluffy one a that. I don’t know about you but the way I imagine this, it’s a rather intense emasculatory experience, and one that I’d rather avoid. Comparable to your girlfriend saving you in a fight.

Of course, I still love Billie Piper and if faced with her physical presence, I’m certain I would forget all of this instantly…

Remember, please Donate something to our Movember cause!!

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Hiro Nakamura with a mo’?

November 17, 2007 at 5:19 pm (November: Movember)

How would Hiro look with a mo’? What about Rocky Balboa?

I’m certain you’re dying to know. If you’re using IE as your browser, you can find out here:

http://www.celebritymustache.com

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Late start…

November 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm (November: Movember)

This is a ridiculous time to start a blog based on monthly projects, but it must be done now.

This month:

Movember (the month formally known as November) is a charity event held every year, to raise money for The Prostate Charity. What this involves is simple; the brave men involved each grow and groom a mo’ (a moustache), and get sponsored by as many people as possible.

Myself and my flatmates at Hotel Tango (Hotel Tango is where I live), have joined the Republic of Movember. What this essentially boils down to is, we will be growing a mo’ in the best way possible throughout this month. Which for Warren is very slowly, but the other guys are doing alright.

We will regularly update you on the progress we make and the hilarious experiences we enjoy as a result of our mo’ growing. Will Max resemble Tom Selleck after a month? Will Dave look like a porn star? Will Warren look any different at all?? We have rather ambitiously set our sights on raising £1,000 before the end of the month.

My flatmate Max used his photoshop skills to create an impression of how three of the four Hotel Tango residents – Warren, Max, and Dave – may look (the fourth, Simon, I will ask to join us soon):

How we might look at the end of the month

Please follow the link below to make a donation online. Our target is to raise £1,000 by November 30th. This is difficult, but ultimately doable. Even if you are extremely tight, just think what amount you would pay to have us all looking like twats for a whole month. Come on, that’s worth a few quid. And then added to that, remember that your contribution could SAVE LIVES. What cost a human life? When you have thought of all this, please make a donation of a quid or two, or more, if you are super cool.

Here is the link:

Donate

Cheers!

Warning, guilt trip ahead:

* Prostate cancer is now the most common cancer diagnosed in men in the U.K. with at least one man dying every hour from the disease.
* Every year about 35,000 men in the U.K. are diagnosed with prostate cancer and about 10,000 men die from the disease.
* One man in 11 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime in the U.K.

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